Seriously, he choked my son.  A friend helped me have the courage to call the police, who can’t do anything because his hands weren’t around his throat, but rather, he choked him with his shirt….   Anyhow, I’m glad because I need another two weeks. 

Why did he have to put his hands on my son?  My son is typically respectful (wasn’t being this morning…) and a generally good kid. 
My life is so fucked up.  I wish he would die. I hate him so much and can’t believe I am actually at a point where I am willing to take the risk.  
 I guess I am actually going to get my shit together and move out.  I have to do this for me and risk losing my kids.  I hope I can pull it all together, but I cannot survive the abuse any more.

I have managed his insanity for years, but I just can’t take it any more. 

I’m sorry, so sorry that I’m so weak.  I’m still scared I’ll back out.   I’m so scared I will.  I want to.  I desperately want to pretend that I can make this work.  I can’t though.  I’m dying a little each day.  
He can go fuck himself.  He has ruined my life.  I have no hope or faith left.  I’m scared to death to shop. I’m scared of everything!  I hate him so fucking much.



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