I need a way.
I need away.
I need to go away.
Well, I need him to go away. I’m tired of this fragmented life. I’m tired of the panic attacks (I didn’t even realize that’s what they were until a couple weeks ago…) I should be able to shop alone without freaking out! I cannot even make decisions. I am displaying classic abuse symptoms, but I’ve believed for so long that I was fine that I didn’t even realize how sick I was getting…
It’s time I stop chickening out.
It’s time I stop his attakcs and dltantrums and belittling. It’s time I give me what I deserve.
I’m so scared to lose my kids. He’s been so awful and not listened and often the only thing I can do at all is text and I have sent a couple mean texts. I hate him. He has ruined my life.
What if I lose custody? I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough for that. Then there is death I guess.
I really want a tatoo with the idea of strength and mental health and freedom. I have wanted a tatoo for a long time but my family really hates them so I never have. I am not sure….
I guess I need a prayer.